A Rainy Chaotic Mess: Satan’s Baby and Me.


"Satan's Baby Singing In The Rain" by, Gina Biancaniello

I have always been a huge fan of the rain. I love the clouds, and the noise the drops make against the windows. I love how it can get almost completely dark in the middle of the day. I love puddle jumping. I love that it makes indoors that much more cozy, and a cup of tea and a movie an ideal accessory. I have really never had any reason not to love the rain…until recently.

As most of you know, I work with kids. Kids+Rain=Messy Chaos. We don’t get much of a chance to play outside on rainy days, if at all… which makes for cabin fever and lots of pent up energy. When we do get to go outside it turns into one big mud party. No mater how hard I seem to try to police the kids and keep them as clean as possible (meaning, not in need of a bath.) it just doesn’t seem to work out in my favor. Yesterday we had a brief window of outside play in the kindergarten, and when we came in for lunch, I looked around the table and noticed that most of the kids had some serious mud splatter issues going on all over their faces. They really got into it.

Lunchtime with kids is something you kind of have to get used to. It can be mildly grotesque. A lot of kids have pretty crazy eating habits (what do you expect though?…they are five.) Lots of open mouth chewing, which leads to food running down chins and onto the table. There is one child that seems completely disconnected to his food while he eats it. He can be shoveling pasta into his mouth and none of it will actually make it in…but rather just recycle back down into his thermos, his lap, and the table. Another child eats like his life depends on it. Literally, like he has never had a meal in his life, and he might not get a chance to eat again. It’s kind of like watching an episode of Kindergarten Fear Factor. He feels he needs to eat every item in his lunch within our twenty or so minutes of lunchtime. When I go to wipe the table up after lunch I can always tell where these kids were sitting. Chunks of pasta, jelly, yogurt, cheese, and weird mushy substances cling to the wood. Although every child has a napkin, I don’t think it is their first instinct to use it. When it is time to join hands and give thanks for our lunch before being excused, I am usually met with greasy and untidied hands…remnants of whatever they were previously chowing on. Yesterday was a special kind of gross. There is a serious flu bug that seems to be going around (another perk of the rainy weather) and the lunchtime table seemed to be a glorified coughing symphony. Pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich being expelled with great force across the table as one of the children barked out a huge cough. This child was sitting next to Sarah, who has managed to actually NOT catch this particular death flu. The cough was indeed so severe and troubling that Sarah picked up her quiche and moved to a seat across the table. As she moved I see her sarcastically mouth to me “We are going to die.” I laughed. It seemed plausible. I just can’t seem to catch a break on the illness front. Immediately after lunch I washed my hands. Twice.

Now, I would consider Kindergarten to be “manageable” chaos during rainy weather… Aftercare is not that manageable. On Thursday we spent the entire stint of Aftercare inside. I was still rather ill, and it was my first day back to work since my sickness had decided to stirke. I was nervous at the sight I would find after walking the kindergarten over to the “Anteroom” where we hold indoor aftercare. Sarah came for moral support. As we walked in the door we were nearly stepping on kids. It was just chaos. You could feel the unruly energy in there. Almost every toy from my toy/art cabinet was out already… just madness.

My helper for the day was the 7th grade teacher. He is an older man, with a mad scientist vibe going on. I went into his office once to find it in complete disarray, holding items such as discarded mousetraps, a stove-burner with a pot that held a beaker inside and multiple books on chemistry. He doesn’t so much talk as sort of bumble. He is completely hard of hearing, and is at first kind of difficult to communicate with. He wears these large framed goggle like glasses, and has an unkempt beard and moustache duo. He rides a ludicrous red motor cycle to work (I was also informed that he used to be a complete chick magnet/ladies man type. Hilarious.) I have come to really enjoy this coworker. I am fairly certain he is a genius of some kind, and he is just a really funny guy.
Anyway, I walk in and some of the first graders were playing a game of “Cats”… I am pretty sure this game just entails one behaving in the way that a cat would behave. There are no rules… you just act like a cat. Well, this teacher was also joining in. He sounded like an elder disgruntled cat whose tail had been pulled: MRREEOWWWW. It was too much. He was swiping and hissing with the best of them. Just a normal day at work.

In other news, we have a new creature living in the sandbox in the Kindergarten yard. A child came up to Sarah and I with one, and nearly shoved the likes of this creepy crawler in Sarah’s face. It was gross looking. It was pale, almost translucent…like a combo of a baby praying mantis and a spider. Sarah started to inform me that it was this creature called “Satan’s Fetus”, and goes off into this completely horrific explanation of what this creature is. I was mortified and intrigued all at once. Did we really have something called SATAN’S FETUS living in our sandbox?! Then towards the end of her description, she mentioned that the more common name for the creature was the “Potato Bug”, to which I was endlessly disappointed. I had seen a potato bug before. I remember as a kid, classmates would find them and call them out as they saw them scurrying in the dirt. However, I did NOT remember how gross looking they were. After looking at a picture of said bug, I believe that anyone who calls this terrifying creature a “Potato Bug” is most likely on some sort of delusional happy glue and should be slapped back into reality…Satan’s Fetus is a much more fitting name for this beast. Plus, I like being able to say that I am coexisting with Satan’s Baby. It makes me sound like way more of a bad-ass.


~ by soartsyithurts on February 7, 2009.

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