Overdoing The 80’s…

n785248149_1104496_6988In early December, Peter and I attended a themed birthday party for one of our friends, Tyler and his girlfriend Kristina… in fact the party seemingly had two separate themes, as it was “Casino Night” and a night for 80’s inspired fashions.  Now, I am really ALL for themed costume parties, don’t get me wrong.  I am a die hard fan of the absurd and silly, therefore costume parties are high on my list of awe.some. –however there is something about an 80’s theme that sort of takes the wind out of my sails.  Perhaps its the general frequency in occurrence of this particular theme.. All i know if that I have dressed up in spandex and scrunchies more times than one ever should.  I have burned myself on crimpers, gotten high off the fumes of aqua-net, and applied blue layers of eye shadow with gusto.  In college, I am pretty sure there was an 80’s themed party at least every weekend.  It was intense.

Due to the busy nature of my current schedule, I failed to pick up on the themed nature of this particular party until the day of.  the evite requested we sport out finest 80’s apparel.  I had been busy the whole day prior to party-time, and not particularly being jazzed about the theme, I had not planned an outfit for the occasion.  However, come game-time I decided that I should just go for it.  I am a go big or go home kind of girl when it comes to the costume party… Why stop now?

I started to pull 80’s like things out of my closet.  It was entirely too simple, making me beg the question: WHAT THE HECK is wrong with my wardrobe? I slipped a ruffled green mini skirt over polka dotted spandex leggings–doubled up on socks and paired it with some hot pink and grey sneakers.  I kept my black V-neck tee on, but decided on a faded athletic grey crew-neck sweatshirt as my warm item of clothing for the evening.  My hair got teased, sprayed to high heaven, and pulled into a side pony tail.

Blue, purple, turquoise eyeshadow–CHECK.

Hot pink blush not quite blended–CHECK.

Coral lipstick with wet and wild style gloss–CHECK.

And all of this was matched with some choice accessories and one particularly hideous light blue metallic bag.  It was game time.

Peter even dressed up all Miami Vice style. We were good to go.

So, we made the forty five plus minute trek from the Valley  to Hermosa Beach.  Upon pulling up to the house, it was aparent that there was a party going on… just not a THEMED party.  No one was dressed up.  I was about to walk into a house full of strangers looking like a seriously un-hot combo of Jem and Rainbow Bright’s kitchy vomit. Was I being punked?  Surely the invitation did indicate that this was a costumed affair.  Fuck.

We parked our car and awkwardly strolled past the army of un-costumed strangers in the front yard.  While inside I saw a few people had gone for the “cute” 80’s look… you know, like normal clothes with legwarmers of maybe a totally wearable everyday belt?  One girl had even put on a Britney Spears T-shirt on for the occasion– which, now, I am not a betting woman, but if I had to put money on it would say Britney definitely was rocking the airwaves mid to late 90’s, but nice effort. Clearly no one was talking this theme, or the tragic ugliness that was the 80’s seriously… was it just me, or were the 80’s really no time to be subtle?

We moved our awkward and overdressed mingling onto the backyard, where all the casino night action was going down, and we began to look for our friends.  We found our friend Tyler wearing a red pleather jacket and his girlfriend Kristina was sporting some Pretty In Pink apparel (Though, I would have to say that it was more pretty than anything else.  She was definitely not the freak show that I seemed to be.)  I spotted some of our other friends, Kim, Dylan and Dawson.  To me, Dawson and Dylan both looked pretty normal, even stylish… Kim had gone for it, but by my standards still managed to look cute–a task I had not so much mastered as failed and butched.

Then… I saw it.  A man, who had perchance outdone my 80’s ug, and transcended to the next level of costumetry.  He was wearing a skintight zebra print unitard, a vest and a headscarf a la 80’s hair-metal band– AND he was urinating in the corner of our host’s porch.  Midstream he lot his balance and his sunglasses dove into his puddle of patio urine.

OK, so.. maybe THIS GUY over did it.  he had just pissed on someone porch in a unitard and lost his sunglasses as a casualty of partying too hard.    If that isn’t totally ug 80’s I don’t know what is.  Rock and Roll.

All in all, we had a fun time that night.  While talking to one of Pete’s friends at the party, I mentioned how I may have overdone it a little on the whole costume front– he then replied “To say you have overdone it in the 80’s is pretty much like saying you NAILED it!  However not that I’m judging a contest  or anything, but If I was, I’d say that guy over there MIGHT have outdone you…”  I looked over to where he was indicating, and there was a man in skintight leopard print pants dancing drunkenly with two blonds in the kitchen.  He was topless to boot… and wore a headband much like that of zebra print unitard guy.

Right after it had been decided that this guy might be our hypothetical contest winner of overdoing it, I was forced into a conga-line– holding onto the fleshy bare shoulders of leopard pants man.  Eek.  We congaed through the kitchen, around the patio, past the drying Zebra-tards puddle of urine, in through a backdoor, past a person about to vomit, and into the living room.

Goodtimes.

Then, with a drunk craving for T-bell, and a little travel bottle of purell to sterilize the 80’s off my hands…. I made my exit.

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~ by soartsyithurts on December 31, 2008.

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