Sticky Situations

crayon Wake up. Hit snooze button. Wake up again. Try to make it to the gym. Get ready for work. Kindergarten. Aftercare. Home. Dinner. Pass out on couch involuntarily, while likely drooling on self around 8:45pm. And…Repeat.

This has been my recent schedule. Also, adding a new and fun twist to my previously free weekends, I now have the next 4 Saturdays booked up working for Chanel in various places not near my home. Woo hoo!

So, I really don’t get to update the blog as much as I would like, but I thought I would try to write something tonight before the whole diner and passing out portion of my daily routine.

In recent news, I got in a car accident on my way to school on Monday. I was three or so minutes away from school, when WHACK!!, I was rear-ended at a light. I had never been in a car accident before this (while actually in a vehicle… this excludes my ridiculous getting hit by a car while riding a bike experience) and the girl who hit me, hit me pretty hard… luckily my car is pretty much fine except a few scratches around the bumper area. I however am sore and my back is acting up… I am assuming this is the effect of what they call whiplash. I will go get it checked out if it gets worse and if I have time. I delivered my report of the accident yesterday morning to my insurance claim agent. It took nearly 45 minutes, as he went over minute details of my accident, asked me the color of my vehicle three or so times unnecessarily , and all with a monotone zest for life pouring from his hum drum voice. Even after this 45 minutes on le phone with my gloriously cheery Allstate agent, I still have to call and harass the other girl’s darn insurance company to try to “get the ball rolling…” ugh. Even 10 seconds after being rear-ended, the most predominant feeling I experienced was one of extreme inconvenience! Why now? Seriously?! At least my Allstate agent assured me that I could call the 24 hour hot-line at anytime of day or night to discuss my claim… Because I would really love to call and talk to Monotone McInsuranceMan at 3am, so I am glad that is an option. I like to keep those open.

Recently I have been arriving home with mysterious things/stains clinging to my skirts and tops. This could be an occupational hazard. The theme of the week in the Kindergarten yard seems to be a game they like to call “Cement Hands”… this means dipping their hands up to their elbows or higher in wet thick mud, then coating them in dirt, and then in a layer of sand. I usually get a kid or two a day who likes to come up and show me up close and personal details of their muddy mitts, and maybe touch me somewhere with said mitt, leaving a nice deposit of mud, dirt and sand all over my lovely skirt. One day in Aftercare I actually had a little girl come up to me and blow her nose in my skirt. Really? Oh my. There was no guess as to what that unusual glob of grossness was clinging to my blue cotton –Boogers a la kiddo. Precious. Yesterday we added blood to the stain list, as I assisted one of my Aftercare kids with a gushing bloody nose, probably brought on by digging for metaphorical gold. Poor kid. I’ve also found grass, paint, crayon, rice, cheese, (not my own rice or cheese, btw.) a suspicious green substance, and fingerprints in various mediums all on items of my clothing.

It’s amazing the things kids talk about if you just let it go on organically. This morning during snack this conversation unfolded at the Kindergarten table.

Kid #1: What if the world had no colors? What if it was just black?

Kid #2: Everything? Yeah. Everything would be black. Even the sky and the room and even the walls.

Kid#3: No, what if the world was made out of flowers?

Kid #1: That would be so cool! We would be standing on flowers!

Kid #4: And all we would eat is honey, all the time, from the flowers. Just honey.

Kid #2: Sometimes when my mom buys honey I just squeeze it into my mouth and go, YUM, honey!!

Kid #3: Wait, hey, what if the world was made out of JELLYBEANS?!

Kid#1: WHOA. Yeah. And I am going to make a jellybean tower and climb to the top and eat all of them, and invite some of my friends and they can eat them too.

Kid#2: Can I come?

Kid #1: Yeah, because you are my friend.

Kid #3: Can I come too?

Kid #1: No. It’s boys only.

Kid #3: You could come to my party if I could come to yours. We are going to have marshmallows.

Kid #1: Okay.

I love how kids are always talking about “my party”, just some unspecific party that they are planning on having, and they use it as a friend leveraging tool.

However, most hurt feelings that might have been created during a “my party” discussion are usually healed by a little outside play and fun with “Cement Hands”.

It’s amazing what a child can get into in 30 seconds while you have your head turned. Today I walked across the yard to confiscate a lemon from a kid who is not supposed to be eating them, since he is allergic. We have a lemon tree in the Kindergarten yard and the kids go nuts over those lemons! Anywho, when I turn back around a child has managed to take a piece of braided rainbow string, tie it around herself and attach it to a tree… and get stuck. She looked like she was on one of those kid leashes that neurotic parents use in airports. The scissors were used two times today to cut kids out of that darn string. It needs to come down out of that tree. I’ll probably cut the strings fully out of the tree tomorrow before anyone can manage to full on Army knot themselves into one of them.

Last week, instead of “Cement Hands”, it was a full on bug collecting party. Each child had some kind of container… a paper cup, a tin, a Tupperware of their own in which they proceeded to find and capture a million rollie pollies and name them each after teachers from the school. One child found a caterpillar during his bug search and grew rather attached to it. He was super concerned it would run away. The cups were left outside overnight so all the bugs who wanted to make their break for it, could. When the child returned the next day his Caterpillar was still there… and he was not moving. As he carried the cup trying to find the caterpillar some food, it would rattle around in the cup, petrified. The child did not think that the caterpillar could be dead, but rather it was just sleeping… he carried around a petrified caterpillar in a cup for two days. On the second day the caterpillar fell out of the cup and another student helped him to place it back into it’s new home. They began to discuss it’s lack of movement. The helping child tried to explain to the other that his caterpillar was simply not moving because caterpillar’s do not move very much. She simply said, “It’s because caterpillars are shy.

I am not quite sure what happened to that DEATHLY SHY caterpillar… but, he is no longer being toted around in a cup, so maybe he had found a new resting place somewhere in the yard… or maybe part of him is on my skirt now, who knows. ugh.

Anyway, it is now time for me to change out of this dress and it’s various new suspicious stains, make dinner, and likely pass out on the couch like a person with a mild case of narcolepsy. All in a days work, my friends.

Hope everyone is having a great week


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~ by soartsyithurts on November 20, 2008.

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