Help Wanted.

I am frustrated and a little bit exhausted. I am still getting over this weird “virus” thing, that has my sinuses in constant overload. I kind of feel like my head is either going to explode or implode… one of the other, haven’t quite decided yet.

Someone is currently using a leaf blower RIGHT outside my office window. I would like to express how obnoxious this is… not only because of the grinding terrible noise, but because of the debris that seems to be flying into my open window. Cute.

I had a freakin’ horrible day at work yesterday. It was not at all because of the kids, but more because of my “co-workers”. I really enjoy my job, and I put a lot into it, but I have not been getting the backing/help from the faculty that I need in order to be completely successful with what I am doing. When I took the job, I was told that there was a maximum of twelve kids staying for Aftercare, and that I would have a teacher with me for the first hour to be an extra set of eyes on the playground and help keep things under control. It would be one thing if it was lots of kids in a classroom setting, but this is not the case for me, I have tons of kids running around in full on play mode, often a little wild upon being liberated from their school day. The number of the kids in the program seems to be growing. I almost always have sixteen to twenty kids in the beginning of the day, which is nearly impossible to keep tabs on just by myself, safely. They range in ages from Kindergarten-8th grade… so it’s not just one age group, its a whole mess of ages trying to get along and sometimes things get out of hand or like I said, just wild. I have not really had the teacher help that I was promised… some teachers are better than others at sticking with it, but often I am left alone, and unable to even go and make snack without leaving them unattended for five minutes… which I really don’t feel great about.

I have expressed my concerns in these matters. I am pretty vocal about my needs and what isn’t working… I feel like you have to be in these situations. I actually brought up last Wednesday to the “principle”, or whatever… the unspecific man in charge… that I needed help on Wednesdays and we needed to figure something out. The faculty has play practice on Wednesdays, so I am not only left alone, but I am left alone with all of the faculty’s kids and all of my Aftercare regulars. Well, yesterday came around and I was thinking maybe they had worked something out… but, no. Principle guy tells me that my assistant for the day would be “God Himself.”… heh. Great. Basically a glorified way of saying I would be on my own… God help me. Not cool. I actually started to tear up. I tried to fight it, but this man just gets under my skin and I feel it really hard to communicate with him. I was feeling ill and beaten down, so I let out a few tears under my sunglasses. He asked me if I was crying… uh… no? my eyes are sweating? what do you think, sir?

AHHHHH! I am just so annoyed with the style of communication going on. The “Principle” is the kind of man that always makes you feel, or at least tries to make you feel small when talking to him. I can’t stand it. He has a condescending type of tone, and just makes me feel like I am never clearly getting my point across, even though I feel I am a very good communicator. It’s nuts. Just bananas. It really needs to get better.

I do so much, and have been doing above and beyond my job description, and when I can’t even get some simple help, it makes me feel like I am being taken advantage of, and just not appreciated at all. It sucks.

I know this probably sounds like one big bitch fest… but, I needed to vent. I am sure today will be better.

The best part of my day yesterday was the tackling hugs I got from five kindergartners all running at me yelling “MISS GINA!!!” Stuff like that makes it worth it. I just need to find a way to work with the adults like I can with the kids. I feel like the older we get, the harder it is to communicate. Kindergartners just tell it like it is… they seem to be these little pure people, without any bullshit, without a whole lot of self consciousness… just purely themselves, who they are in true and honest form. I love that. I wish we as adults could be more like that. It would make everyone so much more relateable to everyone else. A kindergarten world… that might be the way to go. Sign me up.

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~ by soartsyithurts on October 30, 2008.

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