Pop Group

As you all know I am trying to obtain some part-time work currently, which tends to involve lots of applications followed by awkward interviews where they ask you questions made for bullshitting, such as: 1) “Why do YOU want to work for us?”, or 2) “Please tell me about a recent experience when you helped someone…” or 3)”How would you help us to increase our sales?”

The actual answers to these questions would probably go something like this: 1) Because you said you were hiring, and I am running out of top ramen noodles or the funds to acquire said noodles… It’s either you or The Orange Julius in the food court. I am not desperate enough to have applied to The Orange Julius yet, so I am hoping you just give me this job and I wont have to lower my standards any further or answer these bullshit questions for them at a later date. 2) On my way to the mall I didn’t run over the three old ladies who seemed to be jaywalking WITH their walkers, while it was my turn to make a right. I didn’t even honk, scowl or shake my fist. If I were to have revved my engine, sworn at, or startled these very old women there is no gaurantee that they would not have fallen over, broken a hip, and ended up in the hospital only to have bills that their insurance may or may not cover. I saved these old ladies money, and hip replacements, plus the public humiliation of falling mid crosswalk. 3) I don’t really know, if I can be honest. I figure I will come in when my shift begins, do my job, and see what happens. Meh.

These of course are not the answers which I would actually give during an interview, because honesty is just not what they are looking for. It’s basically selling yourself, and trying to make the manager believe that you are going to be a gold star employee.

Now, interviews are already uncomfortable enough when they are one on one. I am just not a person who likes to sell myself in a big way. I can do it, I just don’t like it. I felt awkward while I was filling out my college applications because I had to talk about myself so much. It seems annoying, and I feel like my own personal pimp. But, what happens when there are dozens of wannabe employees vying for the same job, joining you for that special moment to sell yourself? Yes, that is right… What if it is A GROUP interview?! Well, folks, that is exactly what I went to yesterday.

I had an interview at American Eagle Outfitters at 2:15pm. I showed up at 2:00 thinking it would be a plus to be early… There were already about twenty other kids there. Yay. There were so many people there for this group interview that the group interview had to itself be split into groups. Three groups. I was in the second group. I walked to the back of the store where there are some chairs and a couch, in order to wait for my turn to gleefully express my love for denim. There were five other people back there already. Two girls who looked like I might be able to babysit, another girl trying to decide between her flip flops which she had worn into the store, or the pair of flats she had in her purse, and a large man in a full business suit and tie ready and waiting with his resume in hand. Since i felt I was in the way standing up, I awkwardly came into the mix, saying hello to everyone, and sandwiching myself between suit guy and one of the young girls on the rather small couch. About ten minutes of silence followed this action, as we all waited to be brought out for our interview. Finally, the manager came to get us and we all went out into another location (again, with limited and awkward seating) to have our competitive group impress fest. The manager informed us that she was looking for people who POPPED! Who were not shy, and who were approachable. I feel I am all of these things… so, I wasn’t too worried.

When the interview started it was kind of a free for all of “look at me!” “no, look at me!” energy. I am not big on talking over people or being talked over, but in these situations its almost impossible to be polite that way. I said some things, and in usual interview fashion started thinking how lame everything sounded. I think one of my favorite things said during that interview was by the business suit guy… when asked why he wanted to work for AE he responded with “I just love your clothes. I really do. Half of my closet is American Eagle.” I had to keep myself from chuckling and looking like an asshole. Really sir? Then pray tell.. WHY are you wearing a suit and tie to this rather casual interview for a job where you will potentially be folding jean shorts and organizing men’s polos?

After we made it through the preliminary group interview, those that were liked got to fill out an actual five page application for employment at the store. I passed. yay. So, in store I sat, next to the man in his glorious business suit (and have I mentioned slicked back hair? oh yes.) , filling out my application. We’ll see what happens. I will not be heart broken if I do not get that job… at all. However, my ego might be a little bruised at my inability to POP! Perhaps my black polo and Denim didn’t do it… Maybe I should have dressed to impress a little more. Maybe I should have worn a smart looking cummerbund, in order to outshine my professionally dressed opponent. Sigh. Well played, Good Sir… Well Played.

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~ by soartsyithurts on September 24, 2008.

3 Responses to “Pop Group”

  1. You are highly entertaining. But really, the question begs to be asked. Again. Why was he wearing a suit to a AE interview?!?! Was it a bad suit? Or even worse, a good suit? So weird. Good luck!!!

  2. dude. no idea. it was completely ridiculous. I would say it was neither a good suit, nor a bad suit… very middle of the road. however, the amount of product in his insanely gelled back hair was definitely note worthy! šŸ™‚

  3. I love your blog Gina…you are amazing and making me feel like I am sitting next to that suit guy! I have been turned down by many a lame mall jobs (bath and body works, Target…yes TARGET). It is NOT a good feeling so I hope you get it!!! I’m sure you will…I was stupid with the automated phone interview portion of B&BW. They asked me if I lie, which wouldn’t be such a big deal, but then they asked me if I lie again like 5 minutes later and I couldn’t remember if I said yes or no the first time…so I am sure I contradicted my self which is total red flag for a liar! Although a liar would have no problem saying that they do not lie…BECAUSE THEY ARE A LIAR!!!! Lol…mall job interviews are up there on the ridiculous scale!

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