Neurotic Mumblings

So, no, I am not dead… I just have been neglecting my blog.  Sorry to the three or so people who read it.  I sincerely apologize for my negligence.

I am back in Los Angeles.  I feel like I haven’t really stayed put for more than two weeks since July and going to Hawaii.  I was just up in Norcal visiting the fam and checking out the brand new baby Goldie they have adopted.  He is probably one of the cutest little baby things I have ever seen.  I kind of want to eat him… wrap him up in a good sized tortilla and make a chubby little soft taco out of him.  He’s that cute. Check him out…. Don’t you just want to bite him?!  He is such the puppy, and will pounce you if you are sleeping or are anywhere on the floor.  Its really funny.  I miss him.  My cat just seemed so much more hostile and bitchy when I returned home, after receiving all of that doggy lovin’.   I am fairly certain that my cat is extremely intelligent and plotting a plan to murder me.  She has no front claws, but what she lacks in front clawtry she makes up with back claws (which she likes to sharpen and chew to a point!), fierce teeth, a sassy temperament, and a powerful right hook.  She will cut you, I really wouldn’t double cross her.  If she was a human I am fairly certain she would wear black lipstick of the chola persuasion and have one of those unassuming tear drop tats under her right eye ala prison, you know the one i am talking about…I’m pretty sure it means you have killed someone…i dunno, I’m not that street, but that’s what I hear it means. The first morning I was back she slapped me awake.  I awoke to the harsh pounding of her scratchy paws against my face.  Welcome home, to me!

Peter recently got over a serious cold, full of boogers and all sorts of cuteness.  I really thought I had beat this one, since I seemed to be unaffected by his germiness, even after he full on wet sneezed on my elbow and left hand.  No hard feelings, Pete, I know you tried to catch that sneeze, it was just bigger than you or I. Anywho, as I sit here writing this I am starting to feel a sneaky case of the sniffles coming on and the feeling of water up my nose.  Not comfy.

SPEAKING of water up the nose, have any of you heard of dry drowning?  I was watching Oprah the other day and this woman was talking to Dr. Oz about her son and how he dry drowned… meaning he got a little bit of water in his lungs while in the pool, and than within a matter of hours he went into cardiac arrest, just from that small amount of pool water.  Terrifying.  It is rare, but I had never heard of this before.  I have choked on water so many times… especially in pools, oceans, lakes, or in the middle of the night trying to nurse a hangover.  IN FACT while watching this program, I full on CHOKE on my water.  Wrong pipe central.  I was wheezing.  I could feel it in my lungs.  So, naturally the hypochondriac in me is thinking that it’s most likely over, and I am hours away from dry drowning.  I really should not watch these programs.  I just get hooked.  I love them.  I will watch a marathon of Mystery Diagnosis on Discovery Health Chanel, but then for about a week after that I start having these weird neuroses that I have some or many life threatening illnesses at the first on set of a headache, a suspicious bump, an itch, an unexplained pain… you name it, I just assume it’s over.  Peter told me recently I should not watch this show.  I agree.  I probably shouldn’t… but I can’t help it.  I really like seeing what goes on in the body, even watching surgeries, yet I am a little bit crazy when It comes to my own health.  Anyway, needless to say, I didn’t dry drown from my water inhalation!  Hooray!  I feel like a seventy year old Jewish grandmother sometimes with some of my concerns… or just the way I carry most over the counter meds in my purse just in case anyone might need them at anytime.  I like to be prepared that way.  I also enjoy blue plate specials, Scrabble, speed walking, and orthodics inserts in my shoes.

So, today I went to the mall.  I went to go get a few applications.  Anyway, I was in Sephora, and I encounter this woman who is a bit older… maybe in her sixties or so.  She is someone that I would very likely nominate to go on the TLC show “What Not To Wear”, there was a real floral skirt with petticoats going on, paired with sneaker boots.  That aside, she ends up purchasing a tool for black head removal… you know, one of those extractors that are used during facials.  No big deal.  I then continue my mall trip and end up running into her in Victoria’s Secret… where she is standing in the open mirror, full on going to town on her blackheads with her new tool.  REALLY?  I was just a little astounded at this amazing spectacle.  I guess she was too excited to wait until she got home to check out what that baby could do.  So, I continue my mall journey and end up running into her again in Gap Body.  Low and behold… what is she doing?!  Standing in the mirror near the entrance and smashing her nose in odd positions then going at it with her brand new extractor.  So weird.  I secretly kind of love seeing this kind of stuff… I just really enjoy spotting interesting things going on in normal and kind of boring settings.

Hope everyone is doing well, and I will write again soon.

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~ by soartsyithurts on September 18, 2008.

2 Responses to “Neurotic Mumblings”

  1. Oh, my gosh the story of the blackhead popping lady is priceless. I too secretly love stuff like that *blushing*. So fun to see people actually practicing their neurotic habits!!! I’ve missed blog entries . . . hope on that boat again lady! Hope your time in NorCal was lovely . . . I miss the Novato prettiness . . . heck I miss all of the NorCal prettiness. High desert gets a little boring after a while 😉 Hugs!

  2. Can’t get over how good The Blackhead Squeezer is! How could you have run into her three times?! SOOO good! Who does that kind of thing in public, though? That lady’s got guts.

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