Ready To Work…

I once heard from Dr. Phil and his glistening shiny bald head that “You should spend as much time looking for a job as you would spend at a job…It is your job.”  or something to that extent.  Sorry Dr. P. for quoting you inaccurately…. But you all get the point.

Currently I am job searching.

I put in a lot of hours a day… clocking in at about 8:30 or so and clocking out around 7:00 or so… granted there are plenty breaks in there where I might check out someones facebook photos, yell at the cat for trying to eat my photography bag, eat some jell-o, take a picture of myself dressed as a robot, talk to my mother on the phone, yell at my cat for eating the plants, and maybe write a blog… or just kind of stare at the wall… and I like to mix these activities up… they are in no particular accurate order…nor are they limited to just those activities in said descriptions.

I know, some of you are thinking… wait a sec, doesn’t this girl have a job already?  Isn’t she the owner of her very own photography business?  Yes… and yes.  However, recently I have felt really isolated from the general public as I do most of my work alone and out of my home.  I don’t have clients every day, so that leaves me with a lot of free time and not a lot of social interaction.  I need some face time with people… Even if they are  semi neurotic coworkers who I can spend a couple hours a day with, and blog about at night.

I spend a large part of my day searching for jobs and sending out resumes.  It’s really kind of awful.

I have become a craigslist whore.  I pick that website over for employment opportunities… occasionally clicking over on the “Missed Connections” or “Casual Encounters” sections for a quick laugh.

When I drive or walk around town I look for help wanted signs everywhere…

I recently received a response telling me I was “overqualified.”  Lovely. No reason was given really for my over-qualification….but instead it was spun off as some sort of positive thing.  OVER-qualified… Isn’t that kind of a translation for you don’t want to have to pay me money?  Or is it truly that you feel I am an advanced species who has evolved beyond slinging coffee or helping you to rearrange your files…and upon contact with these various things I might digress?  So clearly you are just sparing me the pain of some kind of evolutionary backslide.  Thank you, kind Sirs.  I really appreciate your concern… Ugh.

I’ve been to interviews.

My favorite interview I think was the one where the boss DIDN’T SHOW UP!! One of the employees told me to get out while I still could and just to forget that I ever came in there… She gave me a few free cupcakes and sent me packing.  EEK!

I think my favorite interview question is still “What is the worst thing about you as an employee?”  I always freeze on this question.

I kind of want to fuck with them and give them this kind of fake response to their ludicrous question:

Well, do you want the long or the short list?

Lets see, I am lazy to start. I steel staplers.  I swear at customers.  I have a contageous rash, that medicated cream does not seem to be touching. I am allergic to paper. I was voted “Least likely to succeed” in my high school yearbook.  I fall asleep standing up in weird locations. I bathe infrequently. I have a record of stalking my previous bosses… And, I have really shitty penmanship.  Oh, and I almost forgot….CHRONIC lateness.  Other than that, I am a pretty balanced individual.  Ready to work…

How do you think that would go over?  Not well… but I would love to see their faces.

Who knew it was hard to get a crappy part time job?!

I have this odd feeling that I could maybe acquire a job where it was uniform to wear a chicken suit on the corner and cluck while holding a sign for Chucks Funky Fried Chicken… or maybe I could obtain a full time job doing something that I am not qualified for, something corporate, where I would have to wear pumps everyday and handle large sums of money…. but there is this middle ground area that I am trying to break into that I am a little down on…no chicken suits, no pumps or briefcases… just some light responsibility some human interaction and a decent wage.

UGH.

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~ by soartsyithurts on August 29, 2008.

One Response to “Ready To Work…”

  1. Personally, I wear a chicken suit to my Corporate America job every day.

    “Here, underqualified chicken-girl, handle these large sums of money.”

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